सोचते सोचते सोच धूमिल हो गयी ।
खोजते खोजते खोज ही बदल गयी ।
चलते चलते रस्ते बदल गए ।
चाहत को पाने की ज़िद में चाहत ही बदल गयी ।
ना वजूद अपना देखके शब्द मौन हो गए ।
आँसू भी अब शिकवा करना भूल गए ।
कठोर थे जो कभी वो फैसले बदल गए ।
अर्थ जानते तब तक मायने ही बदल गए ।
उम्मीद की दिखाई दिशा भी बदल गयी ।
कुछ हम बदले तो कुछ तुम भी तो बदल गए ।
प्यार था जिस मंज़िल से वो मंज़िल भी बदल गयी ।
किस से शिकायत करे नज़रिए ही बदल गए।
©Shalu Makhija
Dark and foggy, the chilling winter dawn welcomed me this morning..
Plants were shivering n
Birds wanted to delay the day start..
I smiled and greeted the beauty of dawn..
The breeze was clear mixed with fragrant trees. White smoke with my breath was perfect for some long breathing exercise.
Filled up with gratitude, I bowed down to the nature.
The first sight of dawn was just perfect to give healing touch.
Calm n quiet, my favorite frozen dawn got ready to whisper.
Little tree-pie tweeted the song
Making the dawn musical n vocal.
Happy n contented, right in morning thanked the dawn for precious blessings.
Made my way to beautiful Bio-walk with a glass full of water
Connecting the health to wealth of nature
fell in love once again with Dawn.
Blessings
© Shalu Makhija
I still struggle to find myself
4 decades have passed..
All seasons r witnessed
Traveled around the world
Ups and downs are absorbed
Forests n oceans guide my way
Nature with power bless my life
I still struggle to find myself
Degrees gathered n duties changed all these years..
From daughter n sister
Graduated to wife n mother
Student to career woman
Studies to management
I still struggle to find myself
Learning basics to masters
Acquired wisdom of age
Integrity to life hacks
Balancing the health n wealth
Still searching the real me
Still perplexed with the purpose of life
I still struggle to find myself
The foggy morning of winter
So much resembles my life
As the path is invisible
So as next chapter of this life.
I cherish this novel
Live it with curiosity to unfold the ‘next’
Wish I meet “myself” before the climax.
Love.
Tired and exhausted from all my day work
Feeling dissatisfied at the end of the day.
Childhood memories define me sincere n hardworking.
Completed all studies with tag of accomplishments
Behaved responsibly my teenage n followed the “RIGHT” path
But when today I’m looking back
Feeling dissatisfied.
Marriage and business demanded most of my time.
Never cheated on work schedule n gave my best with sincerity n honesty
12years of work life and I put my best.
Got all my wishes fulfilled, possessions n holidays enriched the list
But today when I give look to where I’m
feeling dissatisfied
As a wife, met all the duties n obligations, right in time.
No awkward demands, co-operation and being ready to change n compromise worked as my motto
But life hits hard n keeps me
Feeling dissatisfied
Days n nights, months n years melted just like that.
Raising 2 kids gave bundle of joys n sorrows.
Being happy n tensed, worried n overwhelmed became part n parcel of life.
11years of motherhood n still today when I look back
Feeling dissatisfied.
Perplexed n confused today
Do not wish to overreact
Want to get rid of perfection
Still exploring the illusion of knowledge,
Without being judgemental,
Trying to find “self-worth”
Lost in journey somewhere behind..
Lost in jungle of human animals,
was hoping to find the love, care and humanity around
was hoping to find the miracle God figure,
was hoping to see things in ” right” and ” wrong”
but all I could see was the law of jungle
ruling the human world.
The struggle to survive and sustain was above everything.
The desire to attack the weak and poor remains burning in each human animal.
The circle of life is working without consent
No miracle figure is fighting the injustice
No divine intervention is forcing the life.
Wealthy and powerful makes and breaks the rules.
Millions of lives are at mercy of system.
Uneasy and restless , I am searching the God
wanted to plead to appear and enforce the law
Sad and impatient feeling together
Made my way towards the home.
Composed the self and calmed down a bit
I could see my maid working day and nights
making sure that her kid gets to study hard
A young boy in neighborhood took all pain
to take parents to the hospital.
My eyes could locate a couple deaf and dumb
making the livelihood by setting the floral shop.
Got the insight that God is nowhere but
lives within us.
My soul is My God and My power.
The divine intervention is within us
guiding us all through the life.
Give your ear- and the voice is clear
Look inside and God is right there
Love the self and Self becomes beautiful
Believe in self and God within enlightens you.
After lunch, writing his homework, my 10 years old son asks, ” Mom.. if I speak Muslim prayer, I become Muslim” ?
One question ignites thousand questions to my mind ! My little boy why do you need to think on religion! Why you are worried for Muslim prayer when you have never bothered to recite any prayer before! Who is giving you such weird thought!
The story unfolds ahead. Controlling the storm of thoughts I reply, No beta.. prayer is a beautiful medium to interact with the Supreme God. It is a conversation. You do not become Muslim by reciting any prayer.
Taking a breeze of relief, my son tells that his Muslim classmate forcefully stopped him on the way and asked him to speak whatever he speaks. Not indulging in any fight, in hurry to catch the school bus, he did the same. Once he finished speaking after him , the little boy of his class ( must be of same age) informs him that you just said a Muslim prayer so you are now Muslim !!!!
He further informs that the boy is mighty and can hit him so he thought of better to go with the flow than actually confront him !!!
Yes, I agree with him because probably I have always taught him that do not get in to fights rather try to avoid and skip the situation cleverly.
I know probably in days to come I will empower him with right knowledge of Hinduism and other religions so he remains strong internally to deal any such situations.
I know we will come up with hundreds of answers to speak – to reply-to deal with such situation
I know we will have 50 different alternatives to react to this situation.
But I could not find answer that
Why the little 10 years old boy wants to make the other little boy Muslim??? Why that little innocent kid is on mission? and who are the people who are filling these little kids with such poisonous thoughts.. why kids are not being spared to play, laugh, study, think, read , invent and explore…?
I am sad today. I always thought that politicians, religious heads, community heads are playing the dirty games to create tensions between communities, religions for their self interest. The common man be it Hindu – Muslim or of any religion is busy and super involved in his daily duties and family life.
But this small incident proves me wrong.
India is a secular country. Unity in diversity is what we believe in. We know and accept that with each state our, traditions, culture , cuisine, language, dressings, festivals change and we love that. We can not think of uniform people with uniform mindset, with uniform language, with uniform dressing with uniform festivals…noooo..never.
We can not think India without Hindus – Muslims- Christians- JSikhs- ains- Budhhists- Parsis.. ! We can boast for everyone. One can never find a Hindu without Muslim friend and Muslim without Hindu friend. All fights on one side but we will be ready to die for our dear friends -whatever religion they belong to . We are the people who welcome all festival with equal thrill. Diwali crackers, Holi colors go in harmony with Eid Davats and Christmas celebrations.
Terrorists on this earth do not belong to any religion for what they are doing is brutal and against mankind. But when I am telling a story of 10 years old kids ( one Hindu and one Muslim studying in Jesus school – isn’t it the most beautiful combination) – I am definitely not referring to any anti social element here. All I say is that we the common people should follow our religion, perform our duties but more than that must give right and correct understanding and ethics to our kids. We must educate them to respect all religion and people . If we as family impart the right understanding to our kids to develop respect, acceptance and love for all religion and people, our unity will ensure our growth.
p.s.real story dated 9-7-15
Trying to extract the meaning of life
walking on the road of duties and responsibilities
fulfilling the daily chores in time
amazed at the speed at day ends.
lying in bed I try to walk in search of…
New dawn brings in new energy
I m committed to make a meaningful start
Day routine is crushing the time
The roaring noise of ” to do ” list
Gets calmer with the eve
I’m still in search of……..
Fantasizing on my favorite holidays
Planning on each minute details
gladly allocating few days of life
I’m still in search of…
Pushing myself little over edge
Feeling accomplished at the success of business
Satisfied buyers make me smile
but following evening puts me in search of….
Confused at this never ending search
Asking myself to address or not to address the search
I wait for some divine intervention
to assist me to search
the purpose of this divine life
the satisfaction of the soul
the eternal peace of mind
The “sat -jyoti-Amrit ” of life
**********
That beautiful night hour arrives.. things start to calm down. Little birds have rested in nests. Sun has already set. Moon is shining bright. Trees have embraced the dark shadows of night.
My Unrestful mind still engaged with daily job.
The comforting sleep has started to take over.
Tired bodies are getting cosy.
The dreaming eyes of kids are taking them to wonderland.
Tasks have taken the back space.
My unrestful mind winding jobs, slipped in to planning mode.
The sound of midnight is prominent now.
Exploring the small state highways.
I came along new areas and new fields…
Many new roads are being developed ,
new colonies are being set
Electricity and water brightens the picture
A great infrastructure is being made
Just perfect for people to settle at new place
Just perfect for colonizers to make profit
Just perfect to invest the black money of big heads
Exploring the small state highways,
admired the new projects administrator announces on the way.
exclaimed at escalated new land rates
could not find people in these new areas
everywhere SUVs going around to make most of it
consoled my brain that it is the future and
years to come will show a well developed townships.
Exploring the small state highways
went further on small villages roads.
1000 – 3000 people lived there with
broken, dirty roads around in market,
sewage lines were broken
and schools were to be expected far beyond
no water to give the fields around
electricity obliged for 3-4 hours of the day
exploring the small state highways
Came across the fields with the wheat crops
My poor heart jumped right but soon cried thereafter
Dirty sewage water with mixed chemicals made those wheat crops
even animals were tired of eating that stinky grass
Still wheat sold in mills around and people din’t know what they get in flour!
Exploring the small state highways,
My stupid brain continue questioning
why these villages can’tbe given the needed infrastructure
and what’s the need for new areas without residents
why those villagers can’t claim their right
why my mother earth is not flourished with healthy crops
why my mother earth is not getting needed water to soak
Why the lights are shining on new roads without population and why
my villages are crying in dark
Exploring the small state highways
telling my mind not question
explaining my heart not to feel sad
not to tweet .. not to post on Fb
The wisdom of administrator is not to be questioned
exploring the small state highways.
Jaipur – Jagatpura-Goner-Kothkawda – Lalsonth- Chaksu-Chandlai-Shivdaspura – Jaipur
Her small small hands when are in my hands
Makes me feel so complete
Her curious eyes when look up to me
Her innocent smile when grows with mine
Her small tantrums turn in to warm hugs
Makes me feel so complete
Her honest attempt to try my heels
Her careful observation of dream idol “mom”
Her loving offer to help my work
Her sparkling eyes with my new outfits
Makes me feel so complete.
Her questions when finds rest with my little words.
Her very small fights when end pulling me to her side
Her earnest heart gets peace when finds me on other side of school bus
Her tender feet when dances with my words
Makes me feel so complete
Self-Talk 